Greetings my fellow astro-lovers! It’s been a while.

The time is 7:08 PM and the ascendant for the moment is at 4° Scorpio. As I’m writing this, we have the Sun in late Taurus, a disseminating Moon in Capricorn, a Uranus Cazimi, and Mercury in Taurus is square Mars in Leo.

My last post was at the end of March, and let me just say, boy do things change quickly around here.

I have gotten over my ex almost entirely. We never rekindled and I don’t think we ever will (thank God). I have been dating here in the city and have actually found some success.

I started seeing a guy in late April. We really hit it off on the first date – there was good, flirty banter, moments of depth, and the overall vibe of the date was just so fun and free. We ended up going on our second date that same day and kept the good vibes going. That same weekend, we saw each other again and things just kept getting better and better. On this date, we discovered that we think and act in a lot of the same ways, and we have a lot in common as far as how we like to present to the world. We ended up having a little kiss in the parking lot.

A couple of weeks went by where we didn’t see each other because we were both busy with friends and work, no big deal. We ended up going out again at the start of May and picked up pretty much right where we left off. Good, flirty vibes, good chat, everything you want on a date. There was flirtatious touching, teasing, eye-contact. I loved it. Every time we see each other it just keeps getting better and better. He walked me to my car and had another kiss, but this time it was French (I’m cringing right along with you btw).

We decided we wanted to see each other again very soon, so two days later we go out to one of the local bars near my apartment and met my roommate and his girlfriend there. This was a bit of a test to see how he would interact with other people and to gauge his interest in me. It was a blast. We actually had our first night together this night and everything went great. We talked about how we like each other and everything was so warm and nice. So far, we’ve been on the same page every step of the way.

I was feeling a bit cautious about intimacy because I wasn’t 100% sure if this was causal to him or not, so I asked him and we both agreed that we didn’t want this to be casual. The only problem though, is that he is only in my city for a short amount of time. He will be leaving at the end of next month. This made me question how serious and deep he wanted to take this – because believe me, I’ll take it there.

I know it seems a little fast, but sometimes you have to go with what you feel and not what you think. I notice that when I’m with him, I can turn my brain off and just feel. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this with anyone before.

this tweet is literally the whole vibe of our relationship btw

A couple of days go by and he invited me over for a movie and a sleepover, which I gladly attended. It is nice to just be able to spend time with him and talk and joke, and even just be together in silence, and I know that the feeling is definitely mutual. It is so obvious that we make each other very happy.

That was the last time I saw him. He didn’t reach out after we saw each other, which made me anxious and I began overthinking. Bad. On our first date, we discussed how we aren’t the types to text all the time, and even in-between our previous dates, we’ve kept the texting to a minimum and have only really texted to make plans or send little updates. Because of this, I couldn’t tell if I was just overthinking everything or if this really was a cause for concern.

Four days go by with no contact, which brings me to today. I texted him today and asked if he wanted to go to the store with me tomorrow – he previously offered to go with me so that he could help take everything upstairs, which is nice. He responded right away and said that he’d love to, which is great news. My roommate has assured me that I’m probably just overthinking it since he hasn’t given me anything concrete to worry about.

I have a history of negative experiences in relationships, to put it mildly, so my mind immediately starts comparing those experiences to what I am feeling now. Since he did have a quick and enthusiastic response, I don’t think I have anything to worry about, but I am still kind of disappointed that I had to reach out in order to talk and make plans. I can’t help but compare him to exes of my past. It is hard for me to decipher what’s real and what my brain is telling me in order to protect myself. Am I self-sabotaging or having a gut instinct?

So tomorrow, the plan is to go to the store in the afternoon and then come back to my place to hang out. This will be his first time seeing my apartment and meeting my dogs. I’m thinking I might mention that I missed talking to him this week, but in a way that doesn’t seem clingy or overbearing in any way. I just think that going radio silent for four days after a sleepover and intimacy isn’t great.

My text to him today was basically a lifeline to see if he’s still interested. I really need him to show me how invested he really is. It would be so easy for him to return to his city and never look back.

If something like this happens again, especially after our conversation tomorrow, I’ll take that as my cue to keep it moving. I kind of hate that I’m thinking this way because when we’re together the connection is undeniable and I don’t feel like I have anything to worry about. It’s the space that freaks me out. Am I crazy? Please let me know, like seriously.

Like I said earlier, my roommate says that I’m just overthinking it and we don’t need to talk all the time for things to be good.

I wish I had more to say on this, but we are still very TBD at this time. I thought that typing all of this out would help me realize that I probably am just overthinking, but I really don’t know. I wish I had an answer. I tend to obsess over whoever I like (it doesn’t happen often that I like somebody) because I am a true lovergirl. I am reminded that I have to keep some level of detachment so that I don’t go crazy, but I think I already bought the t-shirt.

My other issue is I’m not very patient and I want things to happen right now. I want answers right now, but part of getting to know someone and starting a relationship is letting things unfold naturally. I would rather be in control.

So until tomorrow, I will have to just keep my mind busy and detached. Maybe a little smoke sesh is in order, but sometimes that just encourages my spiral.

Other than my love life, I have been dipping my toe into other creative endeavors that I won’t share at this time, as they are a work in progress and I would like to retain my anonymity. I’ve been taking dance and Pilates classes which has been such a great way for me to get my mind off things and just release. There are so many opportunities and outlets I want to explore, and I am trying to do it all. I want to step into more creative outlets and really let my inner creative shine, but I have been stifling it for so long. It’s time to let Liza out.

So anyways, that’s all I got for now. I know this was less about astrology and more of a personal diary, but hey. I had to get this off of my chest.

Thanks for reading and bye for now:)

-Liza ❤